How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
