I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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