I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
look no pants
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
