Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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