he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
