Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
