Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
