I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
