hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
