I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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