Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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