He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize