i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
