Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
