honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
