Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize