I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
they're like a gay fantastic four
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize