Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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