You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
