Will you blow on my dice?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
