I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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