i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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