Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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