I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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