Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
