I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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