dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Randomize
