woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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