I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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