did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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