I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
