Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
