cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
