Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
