He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
