This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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