peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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