I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
