I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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