i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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