Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
