well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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