No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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