Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
