They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
