Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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