he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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