it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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