Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
