God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
