everyone is single if you try hard enough
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize