Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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