Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
