Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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