I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
