Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
honey bunches of taint.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
