haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize