Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
