It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
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Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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