like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
