Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
