i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
