ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
