And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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