I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
