forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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